Hikaru's Journal
by BrownWolf2
Summary: One chapter, contains strong adult language.


**Journal Entry: The Day She appeared**

Hello journal its me. I saw a girl walk into the host club today. She was dressed like a guy and boss thought she was a guy too. Haha it was kinda funny. Something about her made me blush.

Well I guess this is it for today,

Hikaru

* * *

**Journal Entry: Finding the right clothes**

Me and my brother tried to find the perfect outfit that the boss would like to wear. It was supposed to be for the times we went to hang out because it's getting close to the vacation time. We found the perfect outfit for when its time for us to go to the beach. It had frills on it so you couldn't see if it was a boy or a girl. It was really pretty. I wanted to see what it looked like on her, but I can't do that. Boss doesn't want guys eyes glued to her body. Its a little weird.

Well thats it for now I guess,

Hikaru

* * *

**Journal Entry: The Day before the beach**

So, its about 7pm right now. Tomorrow is the day of the beach. I have to do this now, before Boss starts something. I'm afraid she'll fall for him and not me, since I act gay with my brother everyday at the host club, but its just a job it's not real to me. I mean I'm not gay. I know Kaoru is. I hear him say boys names when he sleeps. It's actually kinda creepy. Lol well, I better finish packing and head to bed. Don't wanna miss the flight to the beach.

Goodnight,

Hikaru

* * *

**Journal Entry: Today was the day...**

I saw them hanging out alot today. The boss was talking about her like she was some beauty queen. He told her that she was cute. I feel like telling her that I love her when I'm talking to her, but I know that I can't. I also saw them making out it really hurt me. Then I cut myself and things started to fall into a bad place. They had sex and then I got gay with my brother. T_T I just don't know what to do anymore.

Goodnight,

Hikaru

* * *

**Journal Entry: Why hasn't she shown up?**

Its been weeks since the beach and she hasn't shown up at the host club. I wonder whats been up. She is probably sick. Oh well, I'll talk about something else now. Kaoru has been saying alot of boys names in his sleep. I wonder who these boys could be and I wonder if I know them, or if they like him back. I don't want him to get hurt, or for father and mother to find out about our little hobby at the host club.

Goodnight,

Hikaru

* * *

**Journal Entry: She was here but...**

She showed up at the host club today, but for some reason she threw up. I didn't know what happened but Renge showed up on her little stwirly thing and said that she was pregnant. What will i do now?

Goodnight for now,

Hikaru

* * *

**Journal Entry: I Wish He didn't have to ask.**

Kaoru asked about what happened at the beach like forever ago today. I just sat there and didn't say anything. He has no clue what I'm going through. He doesn't know what its like to be straight, its terrible. I just want to fall in love with someone who loves me back the same exact way, if not more. I just don't know what to do at this point. I'll just try to accept whats happened.

Goodnight,

Hikaru

* * *

**Journal Entry: She had the baby.**

It was a boy. I could tell by all the yelling Tamaki was making that it was. I know it was for sure. I wonder what they are going to name him...

More later on,

Hikaru

* * *

Kaoru sat on his bed that both twins had shared for years. He began to cry tears and clutch the journal.

"How come I never knew what he was feeling? I want him to know what I'm feeling for him." Kaoru grabbed a pen and started writing a letter that he then stuck into the journal pouch in the back. As he was writing the letter to his brother, he looked what was inside the envelope pouch that was taped to the inside of the journal. It was pictures of Haruhi and hearts written all around her. There was one of her smiling at the beach, which had a little note on the back. _I will surprise you by asking your hand in marriage, I hope she says yes._ Kaoru began to cry again, the ink from his letter smearing all over the desk.

He cleaned up the ink mess, rewrote the letter, and stuck it in the small envelope pouch that was taped inside the journal. After throwing the paper that was covered in ink and tears away, he put the journal away where he found it, under his brothers pillwow and then left.

**A Year Later...**

Tamaki was teaching his son, Dakota how to walk while Haruhi was smiling as always and filming their sons first steps. Hikaru wasn't there on Dakota's first birthday. Kaoru, Huni, Mori, Kyoya, and Ranka were there with Tamaki, Haruhi and their son Dakota. Just before he blew out the candle on his cake, Kaorus phone was ringing, letting him know he had a text. **911** is what it read from Hikaru. He then ran to the car and drove off, crying and fraking out.

* * *

_Dear Hikaru,_

_I wish you could have told me everything you are going through. I have a secret too. And that is I am in love with you. I can't tell you anything else other than I love you. I missed how happy you were and how much fun we had at the host club. I want to be with you, but I know its against the law to love your own brother. I want you to know that I am here for you, always, and don't hesitate to talk to me about anything you are having trouble with. I am always here for you, not only me, but the other host club members and even the girls that visit us. I just how you understand one day._

_Love,_

_Kaoru_

* * *

Hikaru cried and cried for hours that day after reading the letter his brother had left in the little envelope that was taped inside the journal he wrote in. He quickly wrote one more journal entry before burning it in the fireplace downstairs in the den.

* * *

**Journal Entry: Last One**

I just found out that my brother is in love with me. I cannot let him do this to himself, because I know its against the house rules and also probably against the law to love our own brothers. I looked inside my heart for a sign. And I found one thing. When my brother and I were really small, elementary school age, we had taken a shower together for the first time. Our mother thought it was the cutest thing ever to see us laughing and playing in the water. Once my mother left, we started looking at each other and realized we had the exact same body, only I had a freckle on my left hip and Koaru had a freckle on his right hip. Somehow, we looked at each others privates too. I think that was when it all started. After that first shower together, we touched each other everytime we got to take a shower alone together. I thought it was normal until I saw Haruhi and Tamaki have sex at the beach house. Now, I think I'm starting to love my brother. I have to face it before this feeling of regret and shame gets worse. I love my brother.

Goodbye,

Hikaru

* * *

Weeks later, at the twins birthday party, everyone smiled, sang happy birthday, and even let them cut each others cake. That night, when everything was done, cleaned up, eaten, played with, and everyone had left, the twins both decided to go take a shower together, like when they were young. But, they did not touch one other, but they had decided to have sex for the first time. After their shower, they headed to the bedroom, the bed and laid down, slowly and quietly make love. Just before Hikaru pushed his penis into Kaoru, he told him those 3 words Kaoru had been waiting to hear from his brother for years.

_I love you..._

~END~


End file.
